Why I am excited for tomorrow:

Because it's fucking Halloween. Duh.

BUT - more than that, it's probably going to be the most radical day because of the following reasons:

1. I am dressing up as a pirate for work tomorrow. I'm going to look arrrgghsome.

2. We have a four hour meeting tomorrow morning. Translation: I get to sit around and drink Starbucks for four hours.

3. We are having a Pot Luck for lunch tomorrow. Translation: I get to stuff my face with food that other people made for me, which is pretty much one of my favoritest things to do ever.

4. We are having a Halloween party for our kids tomorrow (I work with kids). While this doesn't automatically mean candy that I can steal from trusting and unsuspecting persons of a minimal age (a lot of my clients are GFCF), it does mean hilarious and super-cute costumes.

5. J-Dawn (that's a cool nickname for him, right? Plus, I just got done listening to PM Dawn and so this as good as it's going to get for 11:22 pm on a Thursday night) is coming to my place of employment tomorrow to help out with our Halloween party. I'm super pumped for him to meet my clients...I seriously have some of the cutest, most hilarious kids in the world, and he will be the first one outside of work to actually meet them in person. One of them has already asked if J-Dawn will show him his moves at the dance party. I told him he couldn't handle his moves. Then he asked me when we were going to play Duck-Duck-Goose, so I guess that meant Conversation: Over.

6. My costume. It's not as bomb-diggity as I was hoping it would turn out to be (did you know that when you cut a $5 wig in half, it falls apart? Oh, you did, huh? Thanks for being around tonight before I figured it out, assholes) but I'm still pretty sure it's going to be an ass-kicking delight to wear.

7. The parties tomorrow night. Karah & Chelsea's party is the big one, and then there will be some hitting of other parties in Uptown. I'm going to be really drunk.

Check back for pictures in about four months!!!

Blogger Survey, Part Four

Hi-ya!

That's how we say hello in British.

Anyway, I have a LOT of posts coming your way - the rest of the blogger survey, some pics and stuff from this past weekend, a very special birthday poem for a very special birthday girl, and some other assorted randomness that I haven't thought of yet.

BUT - it's 9:37pm. I still have a workout (Jackie Warner is kicking MY ASS. I wanna kill her, but I wanna get her abs first. And then I'll kill her) and subsequent showa to git to, A COSTUME TO PREPARE FOR FRIDAY NIGHT THAT JUST MIGHT BE THE MOST KILLA ONE YET, and I also got the third book in the Twilight trilogy from the library yesterday so I'm pretty obsessed with that.

So we'll see if you guys win out.

Blogger Survery, Part Thrice

"Mom, Dad, and Facebook: A Dangerous Combination"

"Mom: How do I unfriend on Facebook?

Me: What, you only have like 8 friends, who do you want to get rid of.

Mom: That’s really none of your business, and I have 40 friends thank you very much.

Me: That’s right, Dad has 8 heheh

Mom: Not for long!"

- From Postcards From Yo Mama

Image courtesy of Busted Tees, link on index to the left

Blogger Survey, Part Deuce.

Blogger survey, Part Uno.

My response to the blogger survey I got tagged with by Tami from Your Day-Lee Dose.



Stay tuned for the next installments, and watch carefully: You're going to have some preeetttty big shoes to fill when it's your turn.

And it will be.

My MOM sent me this picture.

Idea for a Halloween costume -

Retired Hooters Girl.

Weekend Video Treats: Take On Me, Literal Video Version.

This is pretty much what it's like to watch any video or movie with me, especially if I've seen it before. Some people happen to find it endearing, though.

[Courtesy of the lad Oliver]

[From]

Inebriation

If thou hast prior knowledge of thine idea, then thou knowest whom thine is talking about.

[From]

I just found out that fall picture day at work is Oct. 28.

And it looks like it just might be THE BEST ONE YET.

Boobs

Today I successfully convinced my entire department to change our Halloween costume theme from 101 Dalmations to pirates.

Yeah. That feeling I'm going to go to bed with tonight? It's called "accomplishment".

Some of my craftier friends will enjoy making this. And I...I will enjoy receiving their creations as presents.

Gourd Dollhouse Tutorial

This is why I like my friends.

After being inspired by this, my friend Jeremy made this:

It's dirty, but not...dirty.

And so totally AWESOME.


Diesel SFW XXX - Watch more free videos

Via Bauschy

High Scores

Weekend Video Treats: Forgetting Sarah Marshall

I watched this with my little brother Daniel this weekend, and so...as an ode to being able to hang out with my family after three months of absence, I'm posting this song...also, because I love it and it's almost Halloween and so anything to do with Draculas is fair play alllllll this month.

And you love it.

For serious.

[From]

And, on that note...

Photobombing.

Another hilarious list from List of the Day









Image courtesy of Busted Tees, link on index

[From]

Creepy

Because, when I put some lingerie on, there's nothing I like better than standing on the riverbank, too. Or the white house. Whichev.

If you're in the market for classy, you're in the market for Denny Scott.

Why do I get the feeling that most of these ladies (with the exception of one...look closely, she's hard to spot) had these pictures taken with the express purpose of sending them to their "boyfriend" from MySpace?

Babycham

[From]

"See you next Tuesday, you is a punk."

Oh. Boner Party. Yawn.

Sorry. Guess I'm just a little too busy wheeze-laughing at Sorry I Missed Your Party.



Alert courtesy of Emily, who is also responsible for turning me onto acid/Sexy People.

Straight Talk by Amber L. Carter

If the world is watching you with weary, annoyed, and/or infuriated eyes AND your entire country is being forced to to bail you out of your bad mistakes with their own meager, hard-earned incomes (in the form of tax dollars), maybe don't take your top executives for a $440,000 spa retreat merely days afterward.

I sent this postcard to my mom the other day. She didn't respond to it. But that's because she's following the point, right?

1. "Unfortunately I don’t have your original birth certificate. Something told me I’d given it to you, and when I found the envelope in your file it had a note that said, “Daughter took original birth certificate on 7/18/04.” I think you needed it for something when you started work at your new job. I have a copy but I don’t think that will help you in this case. Sorry I can’t help you get back to the U.S. Do you like the Canadian office, do you think they would give you a permanent job since you’ll be stranded there for eternity? Just kidding."

2. "I bought some baby clothes for you today.

I know you aren’t pregnant, but I thought that maybe if I bought the clothes it would work in reverse…like I could will you to get knocked up.

Are you knocked up? Tell that husband of yours to get busy. I want you two sexing it up like rabbits.

Hear me…RABBITS.

Love,
Mom

PS: Your father is getting a vasectomy."

1. Me: I was sorting through my closet today and I thought it’s kind of funny that I have “vacation clothes” and “date clothes” when I neither date nor vacation.

Mom: Really??? Do you have “work clothes” and “gym clothes” in there too??? HA HAHHA HA HAHA AHAH A.

Me: Not funny

Mom: Sorry, I couldn’t resist "

- From Postcardsfromyomomma

This is some straight-up, cool-ass shit.

Via Frangry, via Blogue:

"Charlie Kratzer decorated the walls of the basement in his south Lexington, Kentucky home with $10 worth of Sharpie markers. The walls started as a cream color, but are now illustrated with fictional detectives Hercule Poirot and Sherlock Holmes, Winston Churchill lounging with George Bernard Shaw — and the TV squirrel Rocky and his less adroit moose pal Bullwinkle. Kratzer is a lawyer by day, but in his off hours he is a man who has taken the artistic influences and heroes of his life and imagined them onto his walls."

Visuals here. 360 degree visual here.

G-L-A-M-O-R-O-U-S

The best Glamour shots in the entire universe.

And on a more practical note...who's going to be able to dress up as the Olson twins for Halloween and actually pull it off?! Midgets? 2nd graders?!

I kinda hate PETA. From a psychology standpoint, their methods are all wrong. Attack campaigns are not going admonish your personal target into following your rules or ideals...if anything, you're only demonizing your cause. From a personal standpoint, I find the public attacks and self-righteous verbal abuse disgusting. Don't get me wrong: I have my views on animal cruelty and meat consumption. My methods of education, however, differ quite a bit from PETA's. For one, I'm not solely focused on bullying people just so my choir can feel more justified in their life choices.

Case in point - let's go after the Olson twins. Frankly, I find the Olson twins extremely unnerving and I don't advocate their use of leather, fur, or other animal-based products in their clothing ensembles, but I also doubt that they're going to see this site and be super bummed about it. And really, let's hate on the Olson twins because the world is being so misguided over how lovable and endearing they are. FAIL.

I wish I could be buried under a mountain of gingersnap cookies. Then I would have no other option than to eat my way out of it for survival.

I asked Ang and Coco to carve a pumpkin in my likeness. I can only assume that they directed Ioannis on this one in order to honor that request.

Before I decided to go up north this weekend to attend to a family matter, I was planning on attending this party. Let's count off three of my favorite things in the entire universe, shall we?
1. Halloween
2. Pervy-ness
3. Alcohol

It's like my dream party, come true. But I missed it.

Oh well. Guess I'm just gonna have to carve some porno Jack O'Lanterns while drinking by myself. Is that better because it's creepier, or worse? I can't decide.



Photo courtesy of Afterglide

I like having a free pass to other peoples' innermost thoughts and feelings.

Scared of heights and walking on glass, I asked the photographer what was the worst reaction he had seen on the Skybridge, when he responded, "This one."

- In a similar vein of Overheard, White Whine, PostSecret, and Six-Word Memoirs, here is One Sentence ("True stories, told in one sentence").

PS - if you already have your own personal Six-Word Memoir, click on the corresponding link to submit it for (consideration of) inclusion in the next book.

[thanks to Bauschy for the connect]




Image courtesy of Busted Tees, link on the index.

I learn better from visuals.

[From]

Weekend Video Treats: Sesame Street Sunday Feist on Sesame Street

Feist on Sesame Street. Guess what song she sings.

Huffy.

E-mail I got today -

"Oh, I see how it is...now that your boyfriend's gone for a couple of weeks NOW you can spend your time posting a bunch of stuff on your blog."

Yes. That is exactly how it is. When real people are around me, I don’t need the internet as much. All apologies for that.

Rich and Jen got married on Thursday!

And I was there.



Photo courtesy of Afterglide, who was also there.

Because I live my life to entertain you.

I still think this is one of the best posts of all time.

Just wait until they finish the one of Slayer...

I posted about this a couple of years ago but now that I actually know people who are having babies, I thought I should resurface it once again. There's this super rad label out there called "Rockabye Baby". It takes songs from artists like Coldplay, Led Zepplin, Radiohead, and Nirvana, then transforms them into lullabies using instruments like glockenspiels and vibraphones.

BUT - it doesn't just have to be for the babies. After all, they're basically just cute ( if you're lucky) little breathing blobs until they're 6 months old, so whadda they know about good music? Henceforth, the albums also make excellent veg music or background noise for those of us who are uncomfortable sleeping in total silence. And why is that, you may ask? The answer: Zombies.

You can listen to music clips and order the albums here.

If I ever got a tattoo, it would say, "Stop looking at my tat".

"Your body is not a MySpace" / "Your body is not a Trapper Keeper"

MjN Equilibrium

I've been best friends with Katy for about, oh, let's say a million years. In that span of time I've gotten to know her family, including her little sister Molly and Molly's husband Monty.

Molly and Monty are great people. Molly is smart, determined, and driven. Monty is easy-going, friendly and hilarious. But I have to be honest...they are not my people. I mean that in this way: They like doing stuff like biking. And hiking. And running. And sometimes they do all three. For fun. Obviously, we have little in common with each other.

But, I still love reading Monty's blog. He has this great combination of goofy humor and dry wit, and he talks about their lifestyle in Oregon in ways that makes me want to become a wine-drinking, cross country skiing, meat-eschewing, hummus-eating hippie, too.

Just kidding. I will never want to go cross country skiing.



Picture courtesy of Busted Tees. Link on the index to the right ( I'm not gonna enable your laziness by linking to it twice).

If I ever wrote a song I would call it "That One Song" and my pen name would be "That One Girl".

The other weekend the Old Skool Crew and I attended a benefit for (Katie) Carmine's sister, Jenny. On her blog, she writes:
"The Monday before Thanksgiving I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I can’t tell you what a surprise it was to hear that! I am only 36 and pregnant, it didn’t seem possible."

Because of the cancer, she delivered her daughter, Echo, at 34 weeks, and had to have one of her breasts removed (she will also have the other breast removed in a future surgery to help prevent the 30 percent chance of the breast cancer returning).

The benefit for her was amazing: The silent auction, raffle, and turn out of attendees was a raging success. Her friends did such an excellent job of organizing all of it, and there were a lot of tear-inducing speeches at the end of the night. Our friend Sayge won the silent auction for the band that played for the event - she's going to throw an anniversary party (she and her husband got married last year), charge five dollars at the door, and donate all proceeds to Jenny. I love my friends.

One of the coolest parts of the benefit was reading excerpts of her blog on CaringBridge.com. Reading about cancer is not really high on a lot of people's lists, but Jenny writes her account of her diagnosis, treatment, and recovery in a way that's illuminating but also relatable. My favorite part was what she wrote around the time when she first started to lose her hair:

"Why is it always about our hair? In my opinion, I think you can tell a lot about someone by their hairstyle. It’s a way to show people part of our personality without saying anything. By not having any hair it won’t show people who I am, so they will have to look at my clothes. I’m wearing pregnancy clothes so that won’t do them any good. I think people’s first instinct will be that poor girl is pregnant with cancer and who wants to be pitied. It’s not about what people think about you, it’s about being who you are and I guess with out hair this will be who I am for a while."

You can check out Jenny's story on CaringBridge.