Corn Night.
Never heard of it? That's okay...you're not alone! A lot of people - including a lot of people from Red Wing - have blissfully lived under the impression that Corn Night was something that Red Wing just kind of made up. "Yeah but, I talked to my cousin in Michigan and she's never even heard of Corn Night," I remember one girl in my 10th grade class declaring during a casual discussion about it.
And thus began my life-long fascination with the "If neither I nor an arbitrary acquaintance of mine have never heard of it, it must not exist" phenomenon.
However, I knew better, mainly because I happened to be that special type of nerd who actually liked to read the Encylopedia Britannica.
For, you know, leisure time.
So once, when I was in the third grade and had some time to kill between getting bullied by Joshua Marklevits and being as obnoxious as possible during classroom instruction, I slid out the "C" edition of Mrs. Bloome's Encyclopedia set for some light reading.This was when I discovered the origins of Corn Night, which was a pagan tradition: The night before Halloween, villiagers would throw corn on their neighbor's doors to protect them from the evil spirits that were sure to come out and roam the countryside the next night, surveying homes for both souls to devour and opinions on why Downton Abby is so incredibly boring and yet so beloved by all.
(And, thanks to the amazing information sharing portal known as the internets, I've also since gathered proof that Corn Night isn't just a Red Wing thing - there was also a Corn Night tradition in St. Peter, MN (and special thanks to the author for referencing this blog!), as well as similar traditions in other regions, the most popular and wide-spread usually known as "Mischief Night".)
Anyway, SO! When I was growing up, Corn Night was that one night in our privileged, white-bread, suburban, sheltered young lives when we and all our friends could band together and rove the (well lighted, pleasantly clean, and typically safe) streets in delightful mutiny and engage in renegade acts of pointless destruction and vandalism. Which, as pointless destruction and vandalism often proves to be, was super freaking fun. Common activities included smashing pumpkins, overturning garbage cans, throwing corn and eggs at neighbor's houses, TP'ing trees and lawn ornaments, and writing hilarious and scandalous things (like "penis" or "boobs") in soap on people's cars. It was...awesome.
However, according to The Olds in Red Wing, Corn Night was not awesome. In Red Wing - more specifically in the town paper, The Red Wing Republican Eagle - we had this thing called "People's Platform"...it was kind of like the Bulletin Board in the Pioneer Press, where people could call in and share stories or insight with their community, only this was a little bit more civic-directed: It was used primarily for adults to have a platform (get it?) to bitch about stuff they didn't like. Or, if they felt particularly constructive that day, to offer advice or opinions on how to turn everything into stuff they would like. While the People's Platform was incredibly useful in coming to the crucial outcome of the long and heated debate over what our school colors should be (they had been purple and white for decades, but some Negative Nancy started complaining that since our town was called Red Wing, red should be part of our school colors. After months of everyone and their mom giving their two cents on the subject and a school-wide vote, the dispute was resolved with the new school colors being purple and red with white as an accent color. And the world was suddenly right again), the bulk of the comments came from senior citizens calling to complain that their trash cans were blown down by the wind again ("Something needs to be done about this!") and that people were driving their cars too fast with their car stereos turned up too loud.
So as you can imagine, in the weeks leading up to Corn Night and for days afterward, People's Platform was overwhelmed with complaints from adults, calling for Corn Night to be abolished. And always, always, at least one token parent would call in to wonder aloud about where Corn Night even came from, since she had never even heard of it until she came from Red Wing! The best was when, one year, some guy replied to one of these "Where did Corn Night come from" comments and suggested that it was actually invented by gangs from the cities who were using it as a cover to start gang activity in Red Wing. "I mean...think about it!"
Which was hilarious because it totally fed into the favorite town hall topic of the decade - Gangs are coming to Red Wing! - and further illustrated the divide between The Youngs and The Olds. The Olds thought that spotting a kid sporting a red bandana on his head or seeing some poorly drawn graffiti on the train bridge were sure signs that gangs were setting up shop in our pretty little river town. The Youngs knew that no one in their right minds would come down from the Twin Cities to live in Red Wing, and that a red bandana and some spray paint on public property probably just meant that Adam Meffert had watched "Dangerous Minds" again.
But and so, the war on Corn Night began. Police ordered a 10:00 pm curfew on Corn Night for all those under 18. You were also not allowed to buy more than one carton of eggs at a time in the week leading up to Corn Night, and there were no egg sales allowed the day of unless you were an adult or with a parent. Neighborhoods put together a patrol team to walk the streets in search of kids causing mayhem, and schools sent home notes to parents to warn them to a close eye on their kid's activities that night.
It was a lot of cracking down, on this thing called Corn Night. A lot of cracking down, indeed. However, what The Olds never realize or tend to forget, cracking down on stuff like Corn Night? Just serves to make it that much more fun.
See, us smart kids knew enough to plan slumber parties on Corn Night. And thinking back, I don't know if my parents didn't realize what Corn Night was or if they just didn't care...but they always let me have slumber parties that night...and then they let us go out? So maybe my parents were just really cool? I don't know. Anyway, the fact that we knew other adults - including the police - were going to be watching for us added a certain element of danger, and thus, excitement... Sneaking through yards and running to the nearest cover; smashing eggs as quietly as you could against the window of the boy who didn't ask to slow-dance with you at the last school bash (aka, CJ Gunderson and Robbie Mossefin); finding an unlocked car and filling it with leaves (aka, Brilliant Ideas By Amber L. Carter); playing ding-dong-ditch with the old man who kept yelling to stop riding that ten-speed too fast; taking a neighbors' Jack-O-Lantern and adding it to the collection on your own steps (esp. if it was a really cool one. However, I would also like to go on record and state that the house of my neighbors the Kerns' was always under my protection on Corn Night...I babysat for Carrie and Josh, and Josh was one of my baby brother's favorite people, so their pumpkins were not allowed to be touched, or the perp risked a swift kick to the shins. That is, until I had to go in for curfew). It was awesome. We felt like we were on the run from the bad guys...wrongly-accused fugitives, just trying to make their way to the next safe house...bad kids from the wrong side of the tracks, sticking it to the Richy-Riches...or, regular kids who lived in a small town and never really got into any real trouble or had anything all that exciting happen to them outside of one night of potentially-criminal activity.
I'm trying to remember who might have been a part of the crews I went out with on Corn Night...I seem to remember a slumber party with Joy Wilgrubs and Britney Witzke, but I can't seem to remember who else might have been there? If you remember coming to a slumber party at my house for Corn Night, feel free to remind me in the comment section...this is probably the only time in my life when I wish I had kept more pictures from middle school...
As for Corn Night in Red Wing, the adults kept up their Corn Night crusade throughout my time in high school, and the last time I checked, it sounded like kids weren't really doing it anymore. Actually, what the person I asked said was, "I don't know of anyone who does Corn Night."
So you know what that means...
* Got some amazing Corn Night tales of your own? Gather round the Comment Section Safe Sharing Circle Fire and share 'em up!
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"and that a red bandana and some spray paint on public property probably just meant that Adam Meffert had watched "Dangerous Minds" again."
ReplyDeleteAWESOME